Ever since I was born my mom had always been their for me. When I got sick she would give me medicine, when I felt down and started crying she would be their to pick me up. My mom always told me she loved me and was always their to help me up when I was down. I never really gave it a thought, I would always yell at her and tell her she was the worst mom in the world, but that wasn't true. A couple years ago, when I was in the 4th grade my mom went into coma for five days. Those five days were the worst I had ever felt in my life. I felt like giving up and like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, I remember crying myself to sleep every night, and I remember praying to god and asking him to save her, just to give her another chance at life and me another chance to make up for all the bad things I ever said to her. I would tell God how sorry I was and how much I loved her. I would always say that I would never do anything bad again, and I would never lie. The day she woke up was the biggest relief I had ever felt but was also the saddest moment to this day. The reason for this is when my mom woke up she couldn't remember anyone, she couldn't even grasp my name. I could never explain the pain that I felt on that day and you will never know how bad it made me feel. It's been five years since and she has come to remember me and everyone else. The other night I was lying in my bed talking to God and reminiscing on my life. For some reason the prayer that I prayed to god when my mom was sick was in my head. I kept thinking on how I said I loved her and I would never be mean to her again and I realized I didn't keep that promise. I realized after my mom came back I forgot about how much I cared and I looked at her as if she would be alive forever. But now as I am writing this, she is dying. She has brain tumors and is having kidney failure, it is not likely for her to be alive by next Christmas. Everyday that passes is one day closer to never seeing her again. It hurts to know how much pain I caused her in my life and I don't think she realizes how much she means to me. I pray for her every night and I believe that God can hear my cry. I have come to learn that you need to Cherish people and not focus on the bad things that have happened but the good things. Even when my mom does pass on I know she'll still be here for me. But then again you never know, God always surprises us.
I love you mom, now and always.
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1 comment:
that was very touching. I am sorry. But you should remember that no matter what, your mom will always love you, Because you are her life.
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